Monthly Archives: May 2012


Heart for the Hopeless
It’s a reaction in the hopeless
Spatter upon the wall
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go.

Heart for the Hopeless is an abstract painting I made this past spring. It served as a release of the intense emotions I was feeling (depression). I grabbed the canvas and paint and had at it. No brushes were used in this pieces; it was literally handmade.

In depression, I feel like my heart is bleeding out and I cannot stop the blood from flowing out of me, as if it were a grotesque waterfall.

Acrylic paint and Sumi-e ink on canvas.

Hi hi everyone! I’ve created two new pieces! They just need their backgrounds to be finished and then they’ll make their appearances here!

To those who follow me, is there anything in particular you’d like to see me upload here? 🙂

It’s been uncomfortably hot out for this cat and my three rats 😦 Yikes.

Art…. I need to make more art, but I have zero motivation. It’s incredibly hard for me to get motivated about things, because all that happens is I lose interest halfway through and end up jumping to something else. I don’t know how other artists keep their motivation. As soon as something upsets me, everything hits the fan and end up being halted. I wonder if that has any relation to my psychological issues? I’d have the answer, but I’m apparently not messed up enough to warrant a visit to the psychiatrist. I’ve been asking and demanding a psychiatrist, but I’ve officially been denied help twice. They won’t help me until I end up in a hospital bed.

I’m extremely tired. This heat doesn’t let me sleep!

The birds and the bees, a long existing reference to spring love.

Bees may not yet be in this early spring image, but the birds are! All from Love is my scratchboard project inspired by an older news article about a bird couple. The story is sad, but I’ll tell you about it. The female bird was struck by a car. Her cries caught the attention of her lover. When the male seen what had happened to his lover, he screamed and ‘yelled’ in distress, confusion, and agony from the accident. He stayed by her side, hoping she would get up. He even brought her food to encourage her, but she couldn’t get up due to her injuries. The male stayed beside his lover until she passed.

That story tugs at my heart every time I look at this image; it actually makes me sad and sometimes teary eyed. I’d prefer not to keep this piece, as it only saddens me. If this piece sold, I’d be happy to send it off. I’m sure another person could look at this and appreciate its beauty and work, and I did put a lot of work into this piece. I had made this as a sophomore, and I wonder how much difference would show between then and now if I were to make a similar piece. I’m not particularly a fan of working with scratchboard, but this was fun to work on.

Oh my, that little kitty doesn’t seem happy to find a dog looking in the window!

These two cute critters are from my 2011 book Being Different. I wrote and illustrated the book, and it was completed over the span of a semester and an additional month. Originally, I intended it to be 34 pages, but it turned into 36!

I’d really love to get my children’s book printed, but at the moment I’ve barely got money to feed myself. I hope I can someday afford to print at least a few copies of it! I’d tell the story, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea just yet!

Watercolor, Sumi-e ink, pen, and watercolor pencils on illustration board.